Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
