just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
