he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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