I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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