I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
