i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
