sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
