Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
