should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
