Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
