I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
