there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
