Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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