i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
