you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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