Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
