help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The uberlube is also flammable
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
