Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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