Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
