it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The air taste purple.
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