Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
