Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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