Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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