my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
