i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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