and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
