It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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