Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
