You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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