Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
