High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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