beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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