So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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