i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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