i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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