Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
