While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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