I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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