I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
