So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
