I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
