I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
