we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
