Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
