I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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