he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
