If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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