dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
