meet me or not, i'm out of control
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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