New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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