we're blogging at a bar
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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