Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
