Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He kissed a someone with a penis
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
