I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
