Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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